Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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