Non-Jews are for practice
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize