anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
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