I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
