He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
