Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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