What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
