i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
