I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
