yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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