you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
