Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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