I CAN MOONWALK!
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
