And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
