well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
