What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
