Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
