Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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