i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
