i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
