I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
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