Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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