did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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