win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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