first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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