I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
