Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
