if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
