don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
