Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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