I must be too annoying 4 u.
Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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