Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I will die if light touches me.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
