i jhust puked up my retainher.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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