I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
