It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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