this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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