the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
