so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
