I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Randomize
