This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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