oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
i believe in u and ur pee
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
