just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize