OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
