these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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