On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
