Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
