There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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