We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize