your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
