It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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