I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
