i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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