I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
