We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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