It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
