I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
how drunk are you?
Several
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize